


A Conversation in Absentia

by Setcheti



Series: Conversations [7]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diary/Journal, Gen, Post-Movie(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5638150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setcheti/pseuds/Setcheti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pike made one final entry in his personal logs before he went looking for Kirk that night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Conversation in Absentia

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned in _A Conversation in Need_ , Lt. Uhura saved Pike's personal logs before they could be deleted, but Scotty was the first person to tell Kirk about it. This is why he was so angry about that little omission.

**ADM CHRISTOPHER PIKE**   
**PERSONAL LOG (secure)**   
**STARDATE: 2259.55 19:38**   
  


I can’t believe I made such a stupid mistake – no, a fuck-up, it was a fuck-up of infinite proportions. In spite of his age, there is no one in the ‘Fleet who takes being a captain to his crew more to heart than Jim Kirk. And he never does break the rules just to break them, he always has a damned good reason. Basically, he does exactly what I not only would do, but what I have done in the past. 

But I told him exactly the opposite, pretty much exactly the way Admiral Marcus had yelled it at me two hours earlier. I made him believe me, too, that was obvious - I have no doubt he thought the anger, disgust and disappointment pouring off of me was all aimed at him. None of it was, of course, but there was no way I could let him know that at the time. I was pretty sure they were watching and listening and I knew I had to make it look good, but I did exactly what I’m starting to think they wanted me to do: I destroyed Jim Kirk the way no one else could have. I couldn't see any other way, though, and I didn't dare hold back. The fact that they called the tribunal together without me – completely in defiance of regulations – tipped me off that more people than just Admiral Marcus had to be in on it, and when I was ‘offered’ the _Enterprise_ back I knew they wanted me out of the way too and not just Kirk. Something is going on, something big. Something bad. Something Kirk or I would have noticed, would never in a million years have gone along with, and would have fought them on. But with him off his ship and me out of headquarters…

I've salvaged as much of the situation as I can. I told Marcus that I’d take the _Enterprise_ back, and then I petitioned to have Kirk as my first officer. I was persuasive, and I pointed out to him that he was taking advice from Admiral Nogura, who has hated Kirk ever since his first year at the Academy because Kirk upstaged Nogura’s star pupil and made him personally look like an idiot on top of that. The vendetta Nogura has against Kirk is in the permanent records thanks to what came out at the last set of hearings a year ago, so Marcus taking the uptight bastard’s advice about anything to do with Kirk would be considered unethical - and probably grounds for a lawsuit against Starfleet that would make us look worse than bad in every media outlet from here to Jupiter.

I also petitioned to have Spock reassigned to a different ship. I’m not happy with him for undercutting his captain like that, and there’s no way I can be sure he didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t want to think he was just waiting for an opportunity to advance somebody else’s no-doubt ‘logical’ plans, but I can’t rule it out at this point and until I do, I can’t trust him at my back or Kirk’s. We’ll see how the girlfriend I’m not supposed to know he has deals with the situation before I worry about her, she may not know what’s actually going on. If it was going on. And if he was actually in on it. Because I also have to consider that someone may have been trying to get rid of Spock, too, and making him responsible for Starfleet firing the captain who not only saved Earth but who also knows the full name and designation of every single person in his 200-plus member crew would be a perfect setup for a friendly fire incident.

Of course, that could also apply to me, even with Kirk serving as my first officer.

This is such a mess. I have to go find Kirk before he does something impulsive and stupid, like getting his ass kicked in a bar fight since that seems to be his default setting for stress relief. I’ll work on fixing that later. Hopefully I can get him to listen to me tonight, get him somewhere private where I can apologize and talk to him about what I suspect is going on. 

And hopefully I can keep him on a short leash until we’re back in space so that he doesn’t try to charge in to fix things and get us both killed. Because I think whoever’s behind this is playing hardball, and that’s a game Kirk doesn’t know all the rules to yet. I don’t want him to learn them the hard way. 


End file.
